So apparently I’m out of the loop, or have been living in a cave or something like that because I just learned of the existence of the “lumbersexual” trend which I’m told is all the rage these days. A bit of research reveals that it is basically a new brand of hipster, a metrosexual with the addition of a beard who drinks/brews craft beer and can understand ikea assembly instructions (sometimes), has an aquaponics system on his balcony and may or may not be able to change a wheel on his Fiat Punto. Lumbersexuals also wear leather boots and of course plaid flannel shirts and so will surely fit right in with this blog!
What struck me as I read the definitions of the lumbersexual is that it all sounds worryingly like me, except that I lack the beard.. now I may have to grow one to fully join the tribe!
For the budding lumbersexual there are a few key items you will require before venturing forth into the world..
Once you commit to growing a full beard you will have to maintain it and that means you need a good Beard Trimmer. As if that wasn’t enough, you also need to oil it – by which I mean oil the beard, not the beard trimmer.. more on that later. For trimming though you could do much worse than the stylish and manly Panasonic ER-GB40-S Cordless Moustache & Beard Trimmer Wet/Dry with 19 Adjustable Settings. Undoubtedly Tim the Toolman would approve.
Do beards squeek if not oiled? I don’t know the answer to that but there is such a thing as beard oil and it is not for your chainsaw or truck although you are welcome to try that there and please report back if you do – YMMV, as they say. I’m not sure where beard oil comes from though – is it extracted from the beards of seasoned wizards?
When not chopping down trees in their local park, lumbersexuals care aboout the earth so they need a suitably earth friendly yet rugged boot which makes these EarthKeepers from Timberland just perfect – yes they are made of leather but also use lots of recycled materials in the linings and rubber sole and they look great when stood at the bar in your local real ale house.
This wouldn’t be the Flannel Shirts HQ if I didn’t mention the lumbersexual essential plaid shirts and this one does the job nicely!
So where did the whole lumbersexual phenomenon come from, you ask? Apparently it went something like this: Lumberjack -> Gay -> Metrosexual/Hipster -> Lumbersexual. So basically we can all blame the lumberjacks.
I’m a lumbersexual and I’m okay, I trim my beard at night and I oil it every day..